I have a recurring problem in my dreams. I can’t find the bathroom and I really need to go. I realized that often it’s at the end of a dream and I actually have to pee so looking for the facilities in my dream is my cue to wake up. But often times I need to go, you know, number two, and I can’t find a suitable place to do my business.
Sometimes I find a toilet in the yard, or a locker room with no walls for privacy. Going to the bathroom in public is not desirable so I keep looking.
Sometimes the bathrooms are disgusting or over flowing and unusable. There was one that looked like a throne with gold and padding. At first glance it looked very comfortable, but upon further inspection, it was stained, plugged and had the foulest smell. I ran away in search of something more suitable.
Okay, I know this is gross, but when I figured out what it all meant in my life, it was even worse. It turns out that I was blocked creatively and I couldn’t express myself, at least not when there were people around. A simple explanation, so how do I fix it? How do I break out of my constipation and find a toilet I can use with a door and walls and sufficient privacy?
The answer came to me early this morning in another dream.
As usual, I couldn’t find a bathroom that would work for me. This little pain in the butt kid kept following me and when I did find a private bathroom and got myself all situated and ready to go, he jumped out of the shower and wouldn’t leave me alone.
Just when I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I found a quiet corner in an empty living room where there was a box on the floor. I was alone, then I wasn’t. The room was full of the most beautiful people. It was a party and everyone was talking and having a great time. There was a girl sitting next to me, just hanging out. She knew what I was trying to do even as I chatted with the people around me. I guess I didn’t hold back, I didn’t even realize what was happening, but before I knew it, the girl told me to look! I had done it!
It may have been a bodily function in front of people in my dream, but when I woke up I knew it was more than that. You see, last night I actually started writing my book. The one I’ve been researching and planning and talking about to my hubby for too long now. I finally put pen to paper and began the writing process.
The block is gone. I thought it would mean finding a safe place to do my thing, but it turns out I just needed to relax and let go. It didn’t matter that it was embarrassing and messy; nothing’s perfect.