X-mas and so much more

I love Christmas movies. The tackier, the more predictable, the better. I love Santa Claus, helpful elves, grinchy bosses, x-mas magic and decoration crazed neighbors. I love it when old movie stars and country western singers make cameos and when TV actors star in their seemingly obligatory made-for-TV holiday movie. Or two or three. Sometimes the script or acting is so good it surprises me, but mostly it’s the joy of the season and the message conveyed regardless the vehicle it’s delivered in.

I enjoy the movies so much that I’ve started a spreadsheet to keep track of all the titles I’ve watched. I rate them on a scale of 0 to 5 and leave a few notes in review. Nothing formal or fancy, but it will come in handy next year when I’m trying to remember what I watched and what I missed. It’s not a complete list, there’s still so much to watch on the Countdown to Christmas on the Hallmark Channel.





Summer Lovin’

My summer was full of wonderful things. And heat. Hot, 100 degree, feels like walking on the sun, Sacramento heat. Suffice it to say, we didn’t spend all that much time doing outdoor activities much in July, August and even September.

I did start a compost bin and bought a couple of plants for a buck at the farmers market, which were quickly decimated by a very hungry caterpillar. Fresh produce was in abundance at our house and we even froze bags of bananas, strawberries, peaches and pomegranates to enjoy later. I made refrigerator pickles all season and hubby started eating more green beans, apples and nectarines on top of drinking a glass of green juice everyday. We went to the pool at the gym and worked out at the gym and them we joined a new gym without a pool. I miss the pool, but it’s better for our budget this way and we’re getting healthier physically and fiscally by the moment.

My daughter and I went to Santa Rosa to see her boyfriend’s play. The little girl sitting behind us sang every one of my favorite songs from Grease (cute and a little annoying) and the cast was good, I’m just used to the movie. We spent the summer looking everywhere for a car for our daughter, which she ended up finding around the corner from our house. Both of the kids were off doing their own thing most of the summer so hubby and I were on our own a lot. It was different and strange. And a sweet romance bloomed better than any movie couple I’ve ever seen.


The Perfect Poo

I have a recurring problem in my dreams. I can’t find the bathroom and I really need to go. I realized that often it’s at the end of a dream and I actually have to pee so looking for the facilities in my dream is my cue to wake up. But often times I need to go, you know, number two, and I can’t find a suitable place to do my business.

Sometimes I find a toilet in the yard, or a locker room with no walls for privacy.  Going to the bathroom in public is not desirable so I keep looking.

Sometimes the bathrooms are disgusting or over flowing and unusable. There was one that looked like a throne with gold and padding. At first glance it looked very comfortable, but upon further inspection, it was stained, plugged and had the foulest smell. I ran away in search of something more suitable.

Okay, I know this is gross, but when I figured out what it all meant in my life, it was even worse. It turns out that I was blocked creatively and I couldn’t express myself, at least not when there were people around. A simple explanation, so how do I fix it? How do I break out of my constipation and find a toilet I can use with a door and walls and sufficient privacy?

The answer came to me early this morning in another dream.

As usual, I couldn’t find a bathroom that would work for me. This little pain in the butt kid kept following me and when I did find a private bathroom and got myself all situated and ready to go, he jumped out of the shower and wouldn’t leave me alone.

Just when I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I found a quiet corner in an empty living room where there was a box on the floor. I was alone, then I wasn’t. The room was full of the most beautiful people. It was a party and everyone was talking and having a great time. There was a girl sitting next to me, just hanging out. She knew what I was trying to do even as I chatted with the people around me. I guess I didn’t hold back, I didn’t even realize what was happening, but before I knew it, the girl told me to look! I had done it!

It may have been a bodily function in front of people in my dream, but when I woke up I knew it was more than that. You see, last night I actually started writing my book. The one I’ve been researching and planning and talking about to my hubby for too long now. I finally put pen to paper and began the writing process.

The block is gone. I thought it would mean finding a safe place to do my thing, but it turns out I just needed to relax and let go. It didn’t matter that it was embarrassing and messy; nothing’s perfect.









This Summer

ImageI don’t live by the coast with beaches and rolling waves pounding the shore like this photo shows. Sure I see palm trees every day and bike riding in our community has become more the thing to do, but we do it on carefully planned trails through the burbs lined with green grass. I live in the valley happily nestled between mountains and ocean one to two hours in either direction.

Yes, we don’t live in the heart of excitement, we’re more home bodies than jet setters, but we do enjoy the California summer.

We love to camp, take walks and visit with friends. We always keep a backup tank of gas for our BBQ just in case the main tank gets low because there is nothing like meat on the grill.

We’ll take a picture of our family on the 4th of July just like we try to do every year. We have rarely not been together on Independence Day and it’s fun to look at how our kids have grown.

We’ll take shade with us when we go anywhere outside since I get sunburned before I can squirt sunblock on my skin. I have earned all my freckles.

We will swim, go to the gym, walk the dog, water the lawn, go to the walk-in movies or the drive-in’s, or just stay home listening to the wind chimes in the sweet Delta Breeze.

I have used the word “we” a lot so far, and I mostly refer to my husband and me. But I have big plans for me, myself and I this summer, and there’s no more waiting to get started. Summer is here, my friend, so let’s go.

What does your summer look like?



Channeling My Old Man

I was just scrolling through my Facebook feed and came across a picture of a little kid in lotus position. The caption read, “If all our children learned to meditate, what a peaceful world it would be.”

While I personally agree with the sentiment, and believe it would be nice if everyone could relax and get in touch with themselves, I heard a little voice in my head say, “And the world would be full of sissy crybabies.”

Who the hell said that?

I immediately smiled and shook my head when I realized it must be my dad’s words I had triggered.

It’s almost two years since he died and often his voice and words come through loud and clear. I realize that the “colorful” phrases I heard him say throughout my life weren’t always PC (is that even a thing people say anymore?) and yes he did occasionally hurt our feelings with mean words, but it was his environment growing up and the people who raised him (or didn’t) that resulted in his behaviors.

The remarkable thing was the magnitude of love he was able to show us till the day he died; love that he had never personally experienced growing up. He learned how to be a responsible and caring person despite his inconsistent childhood and lack of a solid parental figure whom he wasn’t afraid of. He worked his butt off and supported our family so my mom could stay home and raise us better than he was raised. We were the perfect nuclear family. Together, my parents led by example and taught my brother and I to be hard working responsible people they could be proud of. To date, I don’t think either of us has been arrested or committed any major crimes, so they must have done a pretty good job, right?

My dad had his quirks, but he was nice to everyone. He never said the F word in front of us and set good examples of honesty and hard work. I saw him drink too much only one time in my life. We were out with all the cousins and the dads were drinking beer and eating pizza. I knew he had too much when mom was driving and we had to pull over a few times on the way home. So gross.

Dad was who he was and in the end that’s what I loved about him. I’ll take all the memories and voices in my head, warts an all, and I’ll never forget him just the way he was. He did it his way.

He used to tell us he was the lost twin brother of Elvis. This is one of the songs he’d sing and I’m so glad he did…I can picture him now…


Blood on the Moon

I almost missed it. I went outside when the Moon just began to be overtaken by the shadow of the Earth and I took over a hundred pictures until the Moon was completely obscured. There was no more light so taking pictures was impossible. I stayed, looking up, appreciating the orb hanging in the sky. It looked so much more spherical than usual, and close. I waited and it just stayed that way.

At one point, my neighbor came out of his house, looked up and said, “Huh. I thought it was going to be red. That’s disappointing.” And he went back inside.

I have to admit that he had voiced my thoughts, though I wasn’t really disappointed since it was, after all, cloudy. But it was still incredible. I had been outside for over an hour in shorts sitting on the sidewalk and it was getting chilly, so I packed in my camera and tripod and went in to upload my pictures and see what was happening in other parts of the world.






I took these pictures from near the beginning of the eclipse to just before the final slice of Moon light was gone. It was really cloudy at the start and some of the pictures I took were really cool and looked like nebulae. It was fun playing with the light and cloud cover. I look forward to doing some crazy Photoshop stuff with them.”

NASA had a fantastic live feed, of course. Can’t beat NASA for pictures of space. Then Tiffani messaged me on Facebook and said, “Go take a picture now.” I didn’t respond, I just grabbed my camera with the zoom lens and ran out the door. The moon was aflame and I just barely got this shot, the only one I took that wasn’t too shaky. I didn’t have time to run in and grab my tripod before the Moon went dark again. I’m so happy I didn’t miss it completely.

I think I’ll print a copy and take it to my neighbor.

Blood Moon

Blood Moon, April 15, 2014 with Spica (star)

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Puddin’ Pops

I know you just said Puddin’ Pops in a Bill Cosby accent, you couldn’t resist. Neither can I. I love that guy. I got hooked as a kid and got my kids hooked when they were little. We have his cd’s, records (yes, the vinyl kind) and videos. Bill Cosby Himself (1983) is regularly quoted in the Kolesinski household and my husband has¬†many times told the kids, laughingly, “I brought you into this world, I can take you out.” He was the coolest dad on TV with the most colorful sweaters. We’ve learned so much from this wise guy and today I was inspired to make puddin’ pops.


They’re vanilla and pistachio, my hubby’s favorites, and they’re sugar free. You should make your favorite flavor then enjoy the full version of Himself!